The Black & White of My Career Break

Couple of years back, I started thinking about taking a break from my 11 year long HR career. The goal of the break was to be able to spend quality time with my kids. The idea of a career break felt very refreshing and intimidating at the same time. There were so many questions and doubts that I had to deal with, in my head. Would I be able to return to the corporate world after my break? Would my family value the sacrifices I was making for them? Will my career break shatter my self confidence? How will I cope with losing my financial independence? So on and so forth.

Eventually, I came to terms with the reality of my situation and realized that I couldn’t have the best of both worlds. I figured that my presence around my kids was far more important to me, than anything else of material value in the current period of time. The decision was made beyond doubt and in May 2015 I eventually became a full-time home maker.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first few months of my stint at home. I felt more relaxed than ever. Mondays didn’t feel so blue anymore. I found time to do all those tiny things for my kids that I otherwise couldn’t find time for. The absolutely chaotic and mad mornings now felt a lot more peaceful and easy going. Now, I could actually hear myself singing the “happy family” song every morning. Amazing! I felt on top of the world and rightly so. I had made the right decision for myself and my kids. Everything was just perfect.

As time progressed, I slowly started losing myself to the routine of managing my home and kids. I would strive hard to keep up schedules for both my kids, work around the clock to maintain meal times, nap times etc etc etc. The “Happy Family” song was still buzzing in my ears, however, by now I was starting to get bored of listening to it. Something was definitely not right. But what was it? I had to figure it out. After all, I din’t take a break in my career to get bogged down, bored and frustrated at home. 
After a little bit of introspection I realized that perhaps the problem was that I was forgetting to focus on myself in the process of playing the role of that perfect “home-maker”. The rigmarole of life at home can often leave you feeling exhausted, meritless and bogged down. But this was the life I chose for myself. It was a choice that I made over my career. I had to get back to feeling good and content. I couldn’t let everything slip out of my hands like sand. 

I started making a few conscious changes to the way I managed myself at home. I put in additional effort to have fun with my kids while still managing to follow a healthy routine for them. I kept reminding myself that eventually my kids are going to grow up very fast and when they do, I am going to miss their childhood. As someone wise once said, childhood only comes by once in a lifetime, so it’s only sensible to enjoy the phase while it lasts, rather than getting stressed about it.

As my kids grew older, I was able to consistently carve out time for myself on a daily basis. I started using this time to do a variety of things that made me feel good. Starting from working out at the gym, to reading a book, playing a sport or even catching up with a good old buddy over a cup of coffee, I found myself being able to fit in everything I enjoyed into my diary. At the end of day, these small investments in myself helped me feel a lot more positive, upbeat and content. 

We parents, often tend to forget ourselves in the process of parenting. A little bit of effort and focus on our part to live a more balanced life will help us stay fit (physically and mentally) and in the long run eventually benefit our kids. Make no mistake, I still do have bad days, but I genuinely try to quickly get over them and move on. 

Overall, my stay at home has by far been the best experience of my life. I have made so many amazing memories with my family and have so much to be thankful for. I do plan to return to my career in the near future too. I can’t ask for more.